Turtles In A Half-Assed Shell

i do love japan, as my blog name suggests. but i am so glad, in fact i'm ecstatic that the japanese version of teenage mutant ninja turtles never made it stateside. because if it had, i'm pretty sure this hibachi butchering of an american classic would impose an effect similar to that of pearl harbor, and international warfare would almost certainly ensue. first off, based on watching about 10 seconds of this three minute clip, i am able to tell the original purpose of this cartoon is tampered with more than a barry bonds drug test sample. its completely and utterly convoluted in theme, and more importantly, it's just an effin' mess. and why the hell do our tokyo brothers feel the need to turn everything into a damn robot? well i have my questions, see if watching this video can make you conjure up some of your own, if you don't end up crying before its over.

Make Sure They Don't See My Face

todays music post comes from an ethiopian born, virginia raised artist named kenna, who just happens to be good pals with chad hugo and pharrell williams. hugo and williams, who executive produced his sophomore release, "make sure they see my face" (one of the top 5 albums in '07, in my opinion) also churned out the beats for the bulk of this project. but interestingly enough, they didn't work as the neptunes, they opted to do solo work instead, chad produced eight of the tracks and pharrell produced two. seriously though, together or separate, these guys could play a farting porcupine, and it would have hit making potential. but not to be sidetracked, here is the first, and i believe only single from "make sure they see my face", "say goodbye to love". and check out his first album as well, "new sacred cow"... now you may enjoy.

A Thin Line Between Drugs and Jakes...

and evidently that line was drawn by foot locker, because an nyc police sergeant took a sweat suit and sneakers in exchange for helping a long island drug dealer evade federal drug enforcement agents, according to a complaint filed Friday in federal court. roosevelt green, 46, who was last assigned to an anti-crime unit in brooklyn, was overheard in an april 1st wiretapped phone conversation with frank wilson, a long island drug dealer, authorities said. the conversation unbelievably proceeds as follows:

“what’s up bro?” wilson tells green. “nothing much,” green replies. “as for my information i’m gonna need a nice warm up suit and a pair of white tops OK (laughing)?”

don't worry officer green, we're laughing too.

Hi, Society

john varvatos has single handedly (along with designers and a marketing team) re-tooled the converse company, turning them from your average hipsters sneaker of choice, to a commendable clothing line. with a new high fashion take on the company, varvatos is introducing converse to a whole new demographic, high society rich folk. for fall/winter 08, the line has taken a more subtle approach, softening the "rocker" appeal of seasons past. cool, confident and collected. take a look.

HADUKEN!!!!!

street fighter will be returning to arcades this summer with its 85th installment, street fighter 4. really capcom? you've been making these games since i was 5, and you've only gotten to the 4th one. well anyways, this joint looks awesome. all the heavy hitters are there, ken, ryu, m. bison, blanka etc., plus a hand full of new characters.... chun-li is still the thickest chinese girl i've ever layed eyes on, and best of all vega is back, he was like a spanish ninja or some shit. the console release is slated for early '09, and it won't be available on nintendo wii. (so i gotta buy a gotdamn ps3 or 360 to play this shit, crimony!!!!) if you haven't seen it, here's a little sneak peak.

Don't Be "Wii"-tarded

my brother got one of these things as a graduation gift. don't get me wrong i had been wanting one, and was extremely elated when i found out that one was waiting for me upon my arrival at home. but not in a million years, would i have thought that i would spend more time shooting shells at various mario characters, or creating digital bobble heads that vaguely resemble my actual appearance, than i would engaging in conversation with other human beings. its kinda pathetic when you become so involved in an extra curricular activity that you forget to do things like eat, go to the bathroom or leave your house. i'm "wii-ning" my self off, in fact some would say i'm in "wii-hab", but all bad (and obvious) jokes aside, this shit is beyond addictive. "wii", would not like too play anymore... to be honest, "wii" would like our lives back.

The Office, Best Moments

...as of june/26/2007, because thats when it was added to youtube. hilarious.

Charles Bibbs

sophisticated, majestic, splendid and serene. these are words often used to describe the masterful works of art charles bibbs produces. growing up, it seemed my mom, shebby, always kept a piece of his art work around the house. whether it was hanging on a wall or set on a coffee table, bibbs artistic presence was always there. here are a few of his pieces.

Food For Thought

i gotta few questions that are puzzling me, maybe somebody could help me out.

1. am i the only one that reads jet magazine just cause its there? and why do the editors feel the need to show an open casket viewing when ever a celebrity dies?... i did not know luther vandross like that!!!!!

2. would you eat an animal cracker if it were shaped like a shrimp, or say.... a cockroach?

3. is elementary school the only place where you can get a pizza, corn and chocolate milk combo?

and finally...

4. am i the only one that thinks the term "battered woman" would sound delicious to a cannibal? and the way t.g.i. friday's is going with their menu, this addition doesn't seem that far off.

well, thats all for now. i'll be back with more thought provoking questions and pressing issues.

Sampleur-Samplé (Respect Your Roots)

my next venture into the sampler-sample vortex will be with non other that hip-hip producer, rapper, diva, jerk, genius and bonnaroo superstar, kanye (who would probably throw a massive bitch fit because i didn't spell his name in all caps) west. the song i have chosen to expose... just kidding, share is "champion" from his latest cd, "graduation", and the song it's beat was derived from, "kid charlemagne", by steely dan, one of the great music acts of all time. kanye pulled a rabbit outta his ass for this beat. truly genius. enjoy.

Going Green, With Jeans

sugar cane jeans and company is a japanese based denim brand, implementing an eco-friendly blend of sweet sorghum (aka sweet millet or sugar millet), a grass that grows pretty much everywhere and is used to make animal feed and syrup, in the production of their jeans. sugar cane jeans also apparently have a slightly sweet smell, as well as the occasional "woody tuft" that pokes out. (i really don't know how comfortable that would be.) but along with its eco-friendly ingredients, sugar cane jeans and company also have an eco-friendly message. In their t.v. spots, which don't air in the u.s., they urge consumers to wear their jeans at least 3 times before washing, to clean them in cold water, to not use the drier and to forget about ironing. if you follow these directions eco will surely request you as a top friend on facebook, seeing as how everyone wants to be so amicable... this is a lot of trouble to go through for a pair of pants that apparently smell so good that you might find yourself chewing on them. but i figure if you go a few weeks without washing them the chewing will cease, quickly.

It's Pronounced Sock-A-Knee

like a phoenix risen from the ashes, saucony comes back from an almost certain death with these, the shad0w 6000. can these sneaks do what no other has done for saucony since the jazz's back in '98?... idk, we'll just have to wait in see. until then, kudos saucony. job well done.

My Gripes

you know who grinds my gears? lil' (exlpletive deleted) mama, who does this chick think she is? and who the hell decided her dance skills were good enough, or even showcased enough (i've seen her dance like once) for her to judge others, whose talents are probably far superior. and what the fuck is up with that pony tail sticking through the hat, and using more than half the color in the spectrum for her outfits. her stylist must be a blind clown monkey or one of those hyphee crunk clowns from the bay area. do you see the ensuing theme, CLOWNS. in fact it looks like a clown shit in her washing machine and all her clothes came out drenched in clown shit. and this "voice of the young people" thing is just fucking stupid. this girl can not be a teenager. her face clearly has wisdom, and scars from botox injections. and she ain't cute, her bone structure is strong, very strong. almost dmx-ish if you ask me. well, i thought she would have been a one hit wonder, but its a year later and her ass is still here and its nothing you, me, the jabbawockeez or jc chasez can do about it. and no your lip gloss ain't poppin, in fact its un-poppin. you're probably 28 lil mama, try some G-D lipstick!

Fradulent Metallic Colored Boys

my next video post comes from the philadelphia born artist res, who made waves in the music world at the turn of the millennium, but hasn't made so much as a splash since. is that her fault?...we'll never know. here is her song, "golden boys" that is allegedly dissing a certain movie star and fellow philadelphia native. cough, cough...will smith. enjoy.

Your Evening... Umm, Early... Very Early Morning News

another hilarious video. hate by numbers, with wayne gladstone.

Clae Achin'?

drool. clae recently released their summer '08 class of shoes. with a wide variety of styles and colorways, these sneakers are definitely ones to watch. and with prices ranging from $105 to $135, you'll have more than enough dough to purchase a matching t-shirt from american apparel.

The Pursuit of Fafiness

great news for fafi fans. the artist has released two limited edition and signed screenprints of her art. fafi is a well renowned french street artist who is known for her sexy little characters called the "fafinettes". I know this stuff is kinda "lisa frankish", but you can not deny this womans talent.

Tennis... Freshly Served

the championships, wimbledon are going on as we speak, and i've already hashed my picks for this years tournament. if it isn't evident by the picture preceding this post, then you should know that i have chosen last years champions to repeat. venus williams, who i am a big fan of, will rise above all the doubters for the umpteenth time to win her fifth wimby title. and roger federer, who has been in a little of a slump for the first half of this season, will win his 317th consecutive wimbledon trophy. as for their competitors there is a chance it could be an all williams final in the women's draw, which would be fun. and it'll be the usual suspect, or in this case victim for the mens final, rafa nadal, who is closing the gap on roger, talent wise. but i still put my euro on fed ex to deliver. i will have periodical updates on the tournament as it progresses.

"Everything Pops with Pringles"

if burberry of london had a lesser known equally hip younger cousin it would definitely be pringles of scotland, which actually out dates burberry by about 40 years. i actually began to pay attention to this line by mistake. bored one day last summer, i was looking up useless facts on the internet, while eating... you guessed it, pringles. i began doing intensive research on the snack food brand when i came across a clothing line by the same name. intrigued, i furthered my investigation on the oddly named clothing brand, and i began to like what was in front of me. its was a young urban twist on old world classics. ascots, toggle coats, blazers... i was hooked. too bad i can't afford this stuff right now. but one day...

Grooks by Piet Hein

does this book take me back. i remember being about eleven years old, snooping around in my sisters room, and coming across this gem. the only reason i began reading it was because the simple artwork caught my eye. then i later became enamored by the simplicity of the poems themselves. they were not only simple, but thought provoking as well. piet hein (12/16/1905 - 4/17/1996) was a danish scientist, mathematician, inventor, author, and poet. grook is derived from the danish word gruk which means a short aphoristic poem = simple and easy to remember. here is my favorite entry from this book, which is filled with dozens of poems.

MEETING THE EYE
You'll probably find
that it suits your book
to be a bit cleverer
than you look.

Observe that the easiest
method by far
is to look a bit stupider
than you are.

Sampleur-Samplé (Respect Your Roots)

since i am a huge music fan, one thing i will continue to do is post a song, usually of hip hop origins, and then post the song used to sample it. the song i'm doing first is j dilla feat blu " sun in my face", which is sampled from one of the most beautiful diana ross songs i have ever heard, "all the befores". hope you enjoy.

If You Don't Like These, Then You Have Had a Lobotomy

nike will be launching the tight new fall ‘08 air structure triax pack made up of two colorways of the air structure triax: brown and grey. i just wonder when california is gonna pass a law letting people marry inanimate objects. More specifically, well made retro running shoes from the early nineties, cuz a brotha's in love.

Completely Unnecessary... But I Still Want It

louis vuitton just released these new towels and headbands. The towels come in white with LV lettering and pattern. meanwhile, the headbands and armbands feature a beige color with the same pattern.

Internet Party

i thought this was hilarious... so i'm sharing

The World Is a Book, and Those Who Do Not Travel Read Only a Page

i love the travel channel. i don't know why, i just do. could it be Anthony Bourdain's cynicism, which he pours on so thick you could easily dress your breakfast with it, or could it be Samantha Brown's quaintness, which is so sweet that it could only properly accompany my metaphor of equating Bourdain's misanthropy to table syrup. or could it be my incessant need to take the world as my hamburger. (i don't like oysters.) i don't know, and i'm not quite sure. all i do know is Samantha Brown's Passport to Europe comes on at noon... and i can't wait.

The Republic of Ghana

DO Y'ALL SEE THIS ???? forget hawaii, the south of france or even the bahamas. book a plane ticket to ghana. this countries beauty is seriously underestimated. you got beach resorts...














rainforest...














and splendid countryside...what the hell else could you ask for?

Daria Morgendorffer 1997-2002

television...well at least mtv, hasn't seen a character like her since her departure in the early part of this millennium. Her presence is still missed. R.I.P.

Oui Oui

it's 2:36 am, and i can't sleep. so, what am i doing? posting music...anyone who knows me will say that i am fiend for anything with a melody.... my first music post, "if i ever feel better", comes via Phoenix, a Parisian based band that i discovered for myself about four years ago while spending the summer in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Ann Arbor f*ckin rocks, take a trip. apprécier!

Please, Be Gentle...This Is My First Time

well, after much contemplation and introspection, i have finally decided to start one of THESE things. i resisted for a while, much like i resist most things in pop-culture. (i.e. reading the Da Vinci Code, which I just finished by the way, after 3 or 4 years of opposition. but i absolutely refuse to watch the movie!!!!) but a friend told me that i have too many opinions on too many things not to have a blog of my own. which essentially means he thinks i talk too much, and i need to find another outlet for my verbal rampages other than his ear. so, here i am at the mercy of the internet, and any potential readers.

p.s. and facebook has taken WAY too much of my time.