Saturday, July 12, 2008

Sampleur-Samplé (Respect Your Roots)

i love this damn song, and the original song is even better. the next sampler-sample comes from most def, and the song that was a classic as soon as it hit the airwaves,"ms. fat booty". accompanying mos on this post is a young, pre-motown and pre-jabba the hutt body double, aretha franklin, that we know and love today. here she is singing her 1964 hit with columbia records, "one step ahead". all hail the queen of soul... and pork ribs!!! enjoy.

BB-Q Rehab

its been a while, but i'm back... with about 5 extra pounds. I fuckin hate holidays, especially ones based around food. if all holidays were eradicated (like i had petitioned to congress a couple years ago) then there would be a lot more skinny bastards running around this obesity plagued country. i swear every holiday i end up looking and feeling like uncle phil, only to watch my caloric intake over the next few weeks to regain my natural carlton banks physique. and who the hell picked the foods that represent each holiday??? i seriously doubt baby jesus ate turkey leg, and i'm not sure but i'm pretty confident george washington did not feast on lexington-style barbecue. thanks 4th of july, way to make me feel like a bean bag chair.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Turtles In A Half-Assed Shell

i do love japan, as my blog name suggests. but i am so glad, in fact i'm ecstatic that the japanese version of teenage mutant ninja turtles never made it stateside. because if it had, i'm pretty sure this hibachi butchering of an american classic would impose an effect similar to that of pearl harbor, and international warfare would almost certainly ensue. first off, based on watching about 10 seconds of this three minute clip, i am able to tell the original purpose of this cartoon is tampered with more than a barry bonds drug test sample. its completely and utterly convoluted in theme, and more importantly, it's just an effin' mess. and why the hell do our tokyo brothers feel the need to turn everything into a damn robot? well i have my questions, see if watching this video can make you conjure up some of your own, if you don't end up crying before its over.

Make Sure They Don't See My Face

todays music post comes from an ethiopian born, virginia raised artist named kenna, who just happens to be good pals with chad hugo and pharrell williams. hugo and williams, who executive produced his sophomore release, "make sure they see my face" (one of the top 5 albums in '07, in my opinion) also churned out the beats for the bulk of this project. but interestingly enough, they didn't work as the neptunes, they opted to do solo work instead, chad produced eight of the tracks and pharrell produced two. seriously though, together or separate, these guys could play a farting porcupine, and it would have hit making potential. but not to be sidetracked, here is the first, and i believe only single from "make sure they see my face", "say goodbye to love". and check out his first album as well, "new sacred cow"... now you may enjoy.

A Thin Line Between Drugs and Jakes...

and evidently that line was drawn by foot locker, because an nyc police sergeant took a sweat suit and sneakers in exchange for helping a long island drug dealer evade federal drug enforcement agents, according to a complaint filed Friday in federal court. roosevelt green, 46, who was last assigned to an anti-crime unit in brooklyn, was overheard in an april 1st wiretapped phone conversation with frank wilson, a long island drug dealer, authorities said. the conversation unbelievably proceeds as follows:

“what’s up bro?” wilson tells green. “nothing much,” green replies. “as for my information i’m gonna need a nice warm up suit and a pair of white tops OK (laughing)?”

don't worry officer green, we're laughing too.

Hi, Society

john varvatos has single handedly (along with designers and a marketing team) re-tooled the converse company, turning them from your average hipsters sneaker of choice, to a commendable clothing line. with a new high fashion take on the company, varvatos is introducing converse to a whole new demographic, high society rich folk. for fall/winter 08, the line has taken a more subtle approach, softening the "rocker" appeal of seasons past. cool, confident and collected. take a look.


street fighter will be returning to arcades this summer with its 85th installment, street fighter 4. really capcom? you've been making these games since i was 5, and you've only gotten to the 4th one. well anyways, this joint looks awesome. all the heavy hitters are there, ken, ryu, m. bison, blanka etc., plus a hand full of new characters.... chun-li is still the thickest chinese girl i've ever layed eyes on, and best of all vega is back, he was like a spanish ninja or some shit. the console release is slated for early '09, and it won't be available on nintendo wii. (so i gotta buy a gotdamn ps3 or 360 to play this shit, crimony!!!!) if you haven't seen it, here's a little sneak peak.

Don't Be "Wii"-tarded

my brother got one of these things as a graduation gift. don't get me wrong i had been wanting one, and was extremely elated when i found out that one was waiting for me upon my arrival at home. but not in a million years, would i have thought that i would spend more time shooting shells at various mario characters, or creating digital bobble heads that vaguely resemble my actual appearance, than i would engaging in conversation with other human beings. its kinda pathetic when you become so involved in an extra curricular activity that you forget to do things like eat, go to the bathroom or leave your house. i'm "wii-ning" my self off, in fact some would say i'm in "wii-hab", but all bad (and obvious) jokes aside, this shit is beyond addictive. "wii", would not like too play anymore... to be honest, "wii" would like our lives back.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

The Office, Best Moments of june/26/2007, because thats when it was added to youtube. hilarious.

Charles Bibbs

sophisticated, majestic, splendid and serene. these are words often used to describe the masterful works of art charles bibbs produces. growing up, it seemed my mom, shebby, always kept a piece of his art work around the house. whether it was hanging on a wall or set on a coffee table, bibbs artistic presence was always there. here are a few of his pieces.

Food For Thought

i gotta few questions that are puzzling me, maybe somebody could help me out.

1. am i the only one that reads jet magazine just cause its there? and why do the editors feel the need to show an open casket viewing when ever a celebrity dies?... i did not know luther vandross like that!!!!!

2. would you eat an animal cracker if it were shaped like a shrimp, or say.... a cockroach?

3. is elementary school the only place where you can get a pizza, corn and chocolate milk combo?

and finally...

4. am i the only one that thinks the term "battered woman" would sound delicious to a cannibal? and the way t.g.i. friday's is going with their menu, this addition doesn't seem that far off.

well, thats all for now. i'll be back with more thought provoking questions and pressing issues.

Sampleur-Samplé (Respect Your Roots)

my next venture into the sampler-sample vortex will be with non other that hip-hip producer, rapper, diva, jerk, genius and bonnaroo superstar, kanye (who would probably throw a massive bitch fit because i didn't spell his name in all caps) west. the song i have chosen to expose... just kidding, share is "champion" from his latest cd, "graduation", and the song it's beat was derived from, "kid charlemagne", by steely dan, one of the great music acts of all time. kanye pulled a rabbit outta his ass for this beat. truly genius. enjoy.

Going Green, With Jeans

sugar cane jeans and company is a japanese based denim brand, implementing an eco-friendly blend of sweet sorghum (aka sweet millet or sugar millet), a grass that grows pretty much everywhere and is used to make animal feed and syrup, in the production of their jeans. sugar cane jeans also apparently have a slightly sweet smell, as well as the occasional "woody tuft" that pokes out. (i really don't know how comfortable that would be.) but along with its eco-friendly ingredients, sugar cane jeans and company also have an eco-friendly message. In their t.v. spots, which don't air in the u.s., they urge consumers to wear their jeans at least 3 times before washing, to clean them in cold water, to not use the drier and to forget about ironing. if you follow these directions eco will surely request you as a top friend on facebook, seeing as how everyone wants to be so amicable... this is a lot of trouble to go through for a pair of pants that apparently smell so good that you might find yourself chewing on them. but i figure if you go a few weeks without washing them the chewing will cease, quickly.

It's Pronounced Sock-A-Knee

like a phoenix risen from the ashes, saucony comes back from an almost certain death with these, the shad0w 6000. can these sneaks do what no other has done for saucony since the jazz's back in '98?... idk, we'll just have to wait in see. until then, kudos saucony. job well done.

My Gripes

you know who grinds my gears? lil' (exlpletive deleted) mama, who does this chick think she is? and who the hell decided her dance skills were good enough, or even showcased enough (i've seen her dance like once) for her to judge others, whose talents are probably far superior. and what the fuck is up with that pony tail sticking through the hat, and using more than half the color in the spectrum for her outfits. her stylist must be a blind clown monkey or one of those hyphee crunk clowns from the bay area. do you see the ensuing theme, CLOWNS. in fact it looks like a clown shit in her washing machine and all her clothes came out drenched in clown shit. and this "voice of the young people" thing is just fucking stupid. this girl can not be a teenager. her face clearly has wisdom, and scars from botox injections. and she ain't cute, her bone structure is strong, very strong. almost dmx-ish if you ask me. well, i thought she would have been a one hit wonder, but its a year later and her ass is still here and its nothing you, me, the jabbawockeez or jc chasez can do about it. and no your lip gloss ain't poppin, in fact its un-poppin. you're probably 28 lil mama, try some G-D lipstick!