BB-Q Rehab

its been a while, but i'm back... with about 5 extra pounds. I fuckin hate holidays, especially ones based around food. if all holidays were eradicated (like i had petitioned to congress a couple years ago) then there would be a lot more skinny bastards running around this obesity plagued country. i swear every holiday i end up looking and feeling like uncle phil, only to watch my caloric intake over the next few weeks to regain my natural carlton banks physique. and who the hell picked the foods that represent each holiday??? i seriously doubt baby jesus ate turkey leg, and i'm not sure but i'm pretty confident george washington did not feast on lexington-style barbecue. thanks 4th of july, way to make me feel like a bean bag chair.